How Money Controls People

The Real Issue with Money! Today, millions of people are working tirelessly just to make ends meet. It's that standard living 'pay cheque to…

Andrea Frasers Headshot
Andrea Fraser
October 27th, 2022
A picture of Andrea Fraser with a vibrant royal blue background, and words that say the Real Issue With Money. Absolute Training Centre

The Real Issue with Money!

Today, millions of people are working tirelessly just to make ends meet. It's that standard living 'pay cheque to pay cheque'. This is the majority of people, yet no one really wants to admit it nor talk about it.  Financial issues are one of the biggest fights and arguments in households today...or at least it's the root of the issue. It is a huge social, and economic problem in society today, that I am going to shed some light on, with hopes that you may become part of the solution vs. contributing to the problems in society.  

The real issue with money is that it controls people.  People can not reach their true potential in life with money controlling them.  It is clear that the majority of people have money issues today; issues like constant stress and worry about how to make more money, how to keep up with the latest in technology, vehicles, and homes.  We live in a world today, where we hide from our financial issues in food, alcohol or some sort of substance, and then make repeat promises to ourselves.  I remember hearing ‘you’re moving forward if you spend less than you make’, I thought I was doing great because I did spend less than I made.  My mortgage payment, truck payment and all my minimum monthly payments fit into my monthly income!! I didn’t spend less than I made!  I spent money I didn’t even make yet.  I spent from my future.  I didn’t even realize this at that time.  I had a real wake up call to understand what was going on in my life, I learned how much money controlled me.  I didn’t even know.  You’re probably the same.  Most people don’t know how much money controls them.  

I have worked with thousands of people over the years in regards to money. The issues around money are always driven by the same thing.  People want to be accepted. They want to be accepted by their spouse, their children, their parents, their boss, co-workers, their friends, and lastly by themselves.  As a result of this need to be accepted, people work crazy hours and overtime, spend more than they could afford, buy things for themselves or others, letting money control them and make decisions based on fear versus what’s true and right for them.  In the end, people don’t understand that money is controlling their every decision instead of what's inside their heart. Our society today has seen how to buy relationships. I think we can all agree, that it's not working.  Money follows relationships.  True relationships don’t follow money. Take control over your money, so you can have control over your time, and your  life.

Ten years ago I got brutally honest with myself and found myself $482,000.00 in debt.  I knew it would take me the rest of my life to pay that off!!  It was a wake up call, that quite honestly I wasn’t ready for, yet at the same time wanted!  I looked at all my options to get out of this massive hole I was in!  Yes being in debt is a massive hole to overcome, that’s why it controls people so much, they can’t see outside of the hole!  And people are fearful that other people will see how big their financial hole is!  It’s a vicious cycle.  Back to my story, my only option was to sell our home.  This broke my heart as it was the home my children grew up in and I didn’t want to sell.  However my desire to get out of the hole I was in was greater than the emotions that wanted me to stay in that house.  I also had to get honest with what caused me to get $482,000.00 in debt.  During the next 6 months, I listed the home.  I learned that I paid $1,600.00 a month just in interest payments!!  This is something banks don’t want you to figure out!!  All this interest was between my mortgage, credit cards, and loans that I had.  This is where most people today would boast that they have good credit!!  I wasn’t boasting at all!  I learned how to put myself on a strict necessity budget and follow it. 

I also learned another tough lesson through this journey, I was actually addicted to spending!!  Those 6 months for me were like a drug addict being in rehab!!  It took everything in me not to spend!!  The first two months I overspent each month!  The second time, I took money out of our grocery money to buy a fifteen dollar tank top!!  This was exposed to me when my 8 year old daughter, asked me to buy milk for her cereal, and I had to tell her we had no money left in our cash envelope for milk.  I did not tell her I spent it on a TANK TOP!  Needless to say I was very disappointed with myself, and that’s when I said enough!  Getting control of my emotions and feelings was not an option!! I knew if I did not conquer this addiction, my children would do the same thing as me. I did not want them to live how I was in that moment. That was enough fuel for me to move forward and not cave into the temptation of robbing Peter to pay Paul so I could feed a spending addiction again!  It took 6 solid months to break the feeling of withdrawal from my spending addiction.  I didn’t know withdrawal from spending was even a real thing!!  It took a year for my home to sell, which looking back I was grateful for because it allowed me to become even stronger as a person to build the relationship and confidence with myself to not let money control me.  Getting to the root of the real issue about how much money controlled me, is what gave me strength to control money.  True freedom in life begins when money does not control you.

It’s time for you to get honest with your real issue with money.  Everyone has a fear around money in some way shape or form!  It’s a matter of paying attention to the relationships in your life and if they are conditional or unconditional relationships.  This lets you know if you have issues with money in any way!  I personally haven't met a person yet that doesn’t have some issue with money. It’s worth the journey to be set free from financial struggle, fear, temptation etc. so you gain control and freedom over your life! 

Either you control money, or it controls you!

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